Why I voted for Newt Gingrich - Letter from a native South Carolina son

The day Obama became president was the saddest day of my life.  I bought a bumper sticker that read
"If we had known this, we would have picked our own cotton".  I just want to kick Obama out of white house this election.

Right now, I have two options, Gingrich and Romney.  My first choice would be Sarah Palin but she ain't runnin.  She is just as smart as me and she looks like an angel. Personally I don't like Romney's real name.  Who names their kid "Mittens" anyway?  I would rather vote for a true Christian than the guy who wears funny underwear.  He is just like Obama, a secret muslim.  I would  settle for Catholic Gingrich, who shares my values and is almost as good as a Christian.

Media sucks, they don't like Southern folk.  Why would they ask Gingrich about his personal lives?  He is not the president.  Clinton cheated while in White House.  Now that's wrong.  Also, Gingrich just did anybody with a sick wife would do.  The day Mary Joe was diagnosed with cancer, I dropped her off in the hospital and started a new life with her sister Mary Sue.  A man's got to have a wife who can cook and clean and be a real wife.  Gingrich don't like to pay taxes, I didn't pay any last year since I didn't have a job or income.  Illegals took my job and they are stealing the country's future.  Gingrich, my man thinks the same.  I really want the foodstamp president to go away to Africa or whereever he is from, and take all the illegals with him.

My man likes his guns and hates gays.  I got'em guns and hate gays.  All democrats are gay and they don't love their country.

Y'all may think that I am a bad guy for leaving Mary Joe with cancer.  Now she is doing better and we meet sometimes.   Divorce may have ended our marriage but out special relationship will never change.  We are still cousins, right?  Nobody can't take that away from us.